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:iconsanya-marishka:

~Sanya-Marishka

Mooooo 8D;;
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It's never enough

:iconsanya-marishka:

Been doing so much. I can't never be satisfied. A first timer taking random shots have much better photos than me. I think I'm losing my views on photography. Gah.

Been deleting stuff off here too. Just not satisfied lately. I can't find the right words to describe it.
No Comments
  • Mood: Not Impressed
  • Listening to: rain
  • Reading: what my heart is trying to tell me
  • Watching: CSI
  • Playing: bad girl
  • Eating: mayonaise
  • Drinking: juice
It's never enough January 14 No Comments No Favourites

Fuck. Life.

:iconsanya-marishka:

At times I just want to give up.
And at times, I just want to keep telling them I care.
But it's just words to them.
2 Comments
  • Mood: Sadness
  • Listening to: the clock ticking
  • Reading: the text infront of my almost dead PC
  • Watching: Tokio Hotel covers on Youtube
  • Playing: with my guitar
  • Eating: air bubbles
  • Drinking: water. Loadsa water.
Fuck. Life. July 2, 2012 2 Comments No Favourites

A plea?

:iconsanya-marishka:

Is it weird for me to want to remove everything I have on here?

I feel very much unsatisfied with what I've done. I feel restricted. Like there's much more out there waiting for me but I can't reach it, I can't find it.

It's like there's more to explore but I'm trapped here.

I feel like I'm losing something.

I look back at my works and I feel like, "God, that's just so ordinary".

So what now? Is there a new me wanting to emerge? Or am I just lost?
2 Comments
  • Mood: Sadness
  • Listening to: the clock ticking
  • Reading: the text infront of my almost dead PC
  • Watching: Tokio Hotel covers on Youtube
  • Playing: with my guitar
  • Eating: air bubbles
  • Drinking: water. Loadsa water.
A plea? August 1, 2010 2 Comments No Favourites

Bah

:iconsanya-marishka:

I love children. I hope that one day I can have my own when I am married. I always feel like helping out charities for the kids in Malaysia. I enjoy helping the orphanages and seeing the smiles on their happy faces. It just makes me so happy.

Today, I found out a close friend of mine had lost her twins due to abortion. I do not know who forced her to go through that and I know that she loved them very much. Her pain, I cannot describe nor can I understand. I do not know how I can help her. How can I calm her down? What to say to her? I just don't know. I feel like crying for her, for the children. I want to help but I cannot do anything. This just makes me very angry and very heartbroken. I cannot imagine what she has to go through.

This is just fucking shitty.
No Comments
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: the box fan moving
  • Reading: the text infront of my almost dead PC
  • Watching: Michael Jackson videos
  • Playing: with Pokemon figurines I found
  • Eating: air bubbles
  • Drinking: water. Loadsa water.
Bah December 14, 2009 No Comments No Favourites

Rant Rant Rant is a Rant

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 14, 2009, 7:25 AM
Brain dead. Really. Can't even draw. Heh.

Character design for Siang's class is really going nowhere. I can't seem to get the clothing and accessories designs right. And I need to show him the designs for him to choose before I can move on to my character design and thumbnail sketches.

Packaging design ideas are in my head.
Issue #1 - Will I be able to design it like I imagined?
Issue #2 - Are the any printing shops that can print on the old brown cardboard?

Visual comm posters pee poo. Self Promo poster almost done. Something's missing and I still don't know what it is to make it stand out. Campaign poster is inside brain. Need a model and a mermaid costume for the poster photo shoot ASAP D:

History of Design presentation. Status: Still awaiting team members for research notes and images while I design the power point. Please don't ditch me at the last minute like the other team members I had in the last semester. I can't take sudden pressure and no sleep for days just to finish a group work on my own.

Photography assignment. Print out photos and get workbook done. *shoots self for procrastinating*

Reminder to self. Next week is WEEK 5. WEEK FIVE. Work it!

This Journal Skin was designed by ~Night-Beast
8 Comments
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: the box fan moving
  • Reading: the text infront of my almost dead PC
  • Watching: Michael Jackson videos
  • Playing: with Pokemon figurines I found
  • Eating: air bubbles
  • Drinking: water. Loadsa water.
Rant Rant Rant is a Rant November 14, 2009 8 Comments No Favourites

No Paint No Gain

:iconsanya-marishka:

Penang needs more art supply shops. Not just down town but around Bayan Baru or Bukit Jambul.
I went to the only art shop in Sungai Dua and it was closed today. I went to Young One's at Sunshine and they didn't have white and burnt umber acrylic paint.

I don't have enough paint! Tomorrow's Sunday, Monday and Tuesday's Eid Mubarak and the shops will be closed! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
4 Comments
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: the clock ticking
  • Reading: the text infront of my Mac while
  • Watching: the invisible butterflies floating and
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, bassist and drummer
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi, pizzas and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
No Paint No Gain September 19, 2009 4 Comments No Favourites

DIE!!!

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Mummy's snores
  • Reading: the text infront of my Mac while
  • Watching: the invisible butterflies floating and
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, bassist and drummer
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi, pizzas and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
The weather's been nice and cool but it isn't helping me at all. I love the rain and yet I hate it at the same time. I can never wake up when it rains. Thus, I've been oversleeping for 3 days. I hate waking feel tired and wanting to sleep again. I can't get any work done right now it drives me mad.

I have 3 assignments to finish right now. An A2 watercolour painting, A3 canvas painting of Joan Miro's Tilled Field and an article design which I'm getting nowhere with me wanting to sleep all the time! Gyah!!! *head desk*
2 Comments
DIE!!! August 23, 2009 2 Comments No Favourites

Bad day? Bad WEEK.

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: the ticking of the Grandfather clock
  • Reading: the text infront of my Mac while
  • Watching: Mama fold the clean clothings
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, b.assist and drummer
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi, pizzas and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
I have loads of ideas in my head which I am currently sketching out. Some are ideas for photoshoots and some are for my doll-making process.

Honestly, I've not been having a good week. Last week, I spent almost everyday around the island trying to take heritage photographs for my print making class in college which is also an assignment come Tanjong Heritage entry. Most places I went to photograph either had:
a) Too many cars suddenly in view
b) Too dark that my camera won't function properly (my crazy-loco compact Fuji)
c) My battery decides to fail on me even though I've fully charged it the day before

And most people that I intend to photograph were:
a) Not working/shop closed
b) No work to do/reading newspapers

Bad week I tell you. Not to mention my course mate didn't know about my previous neck injury and decided to fool around and eventually hurt my neck. I wearing that Philadelphia hard collar, yet again.

Drawing in class with a collar on is the hardest thing to do in my life currently (apart from feeling around to look for my items and trying to feel the floor so I don't trip or fall down the stairs).
7 Comments
Bad day? Bad WEEK. April 6, 2009 7 Comments No Favourites

Yellow! Hello?

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: the sounds that comes from Jurassic Park and
  • Reading: the text infront of my Mac while
  • Watching: the bJurasic Park on the TV screen and
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, bassist and drummer.
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi, pizzas and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
Finally gotten to posting a few of the photographs I've taken a while back. Sorry Red for posting them late but I've fulfilled my promise! Hehe. I hope it's satisfying.

Well, I'm finally done with college assignments. Now I'm too free. Life is getting a bit dull since arguments are erupting around me as usual. And besides that, what I don't get is human behaviour.

Why is it when one dislikes a person they would go insult the person or purposely make the other person angry? When the person the dislike reacts they torment them more. When the person doesn't react they get angry. If you don't like the person, why even bother them? I assume it's because you love them so much that you keep giving them so much attention no? In that case, on behalf of all the people who has been tormented by haters I'd like to say thank you for you love ;-)

Just don't judge a person because that person's has a personality you don't like. If you try to get to know them, there are a lot things you can like about them. So to the little kids at where I study, grow up kies? Mwah mwah.

Right, now back to editing more photos and to post them. No more procrastinating this time hehe.
No Comments
Yellow! Hello? December 12, 2008 No Comments No Favourites

Wheeee! LOMO~!

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: the sounds that comes from Jurassic Park and
  • Reading: the text infront of my Mac while
  • Watching: the bJurasic Park on the TV screen and
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, bassist and drummer.
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi, pizzas and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
Hmm... Dug up all the old cameras in the house. Through the Rolleis, Leningrad, Sputnik, Leica and some-I-don't-know-the-names, I found the LOMO 135BC Olympic 1980 camera. Finally! A Lomo camera! I have been looking around for a Holga or L-CA lomo to buy but now I've got one!

Problem is, I don't know how to use it T____T

Drag also got me a Minimo, a digital lomo camera. I'm getting it tomorrow! I just can't wait :D
1 Comment
Wheeee! LOMO~! October 11, 2008 1 Comment No Favourites

...

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Sorrow
  • Listening to: the sounds that surrounds me and
  • Reading: whatever that I see in front of my eyes while
  • Watching: the blank TV screen and
  • Playing: with my imaginary guitarists, bassist and drummer.
  • Eating: imaginary sushi with lots of wasabi and
  • Drinking: an imaginary concoction of pineapple and coconut
How does one deal with a break up?

I dunno what to do.. Somehow I expected it to happen but prayed that it won't... But it still did.

He wants to be just friends. I can live with that can't I?
It hurts too much to do anything else.

I can't seem to concentrate on what I want to do anymore.
6 Comments
... September 27, 2008 6 Comments No Favourites

Dreams

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Taiyou no Uta - Kaoru Amane
To have a dream.
To want to live your dream.
To be living in your dream.

Everybody has their dreams. It does not matter what these dreams are. If you dare to dream, you dare to make it happen.

I dared to dream. I dared to make it happen. Well, I tried at least. It always seems so close to reaching it. So near yet so far.

But a fool I was to believe it will happen. I fought hard for it but was forced to take a path that was chosen for me. And as I struggled on that forced path, I emerged at a crossroad. Should I struggle on? Or should I fight back and go onto the path of my dream?

I chose to fight but only ended up wounded. As a Tarot reader, I do my own readings. It seems like I am not chosen like some to live my dream.

A sacrifice I have to make to make people happy.
A dream erased for someone's happiness.

I now stray on a path that I do not know where it will lead me.

A path of uncertainty…
A path without a light at the end of the tunnel…
No Comments
Dreams May 22, 2007 No Comments No Favourites

A New Beginning?

:iconsanya-marishka:

  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: You Only Love - DBSG
  • Reading: Interview With a Vampire - Anne Rice
Deleted most of my stuff here. I guess I am just not satisfied with my previous works...

I need to improve. That's how I feel.
Blah.

Haha. I guess my creative side is not coming these past few months.
I wonder where it went? Hmm...
No Comments
A New Beginning? December 9, 2006 No Comments No Favourites

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